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Tuesday, 10 December 2013 14:11

Dealing With the Pink Hats V.1: Holiday Bandwagoners

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AP Photo AP Photo

Like it or not: The Pink Hats are on their way for the holidays.  Will they stay?

 

Here they come.

Win or lose, now is the time.  Hanukah is already in the books, and Christmas is right around the corner.  The holiday season is upon us where Americans spend time with their family, oh no wait…spend money on junk they don’t need.  And spend, and spend.

Get ready.  The next three-week stretch is bandwagon time at the Boston Garden.

Although, it does seem that as the years go on, Boston sporting events seem to get more ‘pink-hatish’ with each passing year.  However, I think we can safely attribute that to the ever-increasing stupidity of the masses.

There really is no way to deal with them.  Just accept and tolerate them.  Here’s a rundown on what the bandwagon pink hat crowd will inevitably say if you’re heading to the Garden in these next few weeks:

“Hey! The Celtics have that Kardashian guy?”

There’s actually a lot behind this.  This will likely be asked by someone hoping to get a laugh out of their companion at the game.  Lame.

But yes, that Kardashian guy is a Celtic.   If you still dislike him, I cannot blame you.  Putting basketball aside – he’s still the guy that personally whored himself out and actually showed affection to one of the most reprehensible individuals in the history of our once-great country (no hyperbole.)

But here’s the thing: those that have attended Celtics games so far are being ‘won over’ by that Kardashian guy.  Well, at least that’s what CLNS Radio’s ‘The Garden Report’ says – so that must be the case!  So, it should be interesting to see how Bandwagon Guy reacts when the Garden dweller next to him is encouraging that Kardashian guy on as he’s pounding away on the offensive glass.

"The Celtics hired that Butler kid a year too early.  They needed a good draft pick this year!”

If it was only that easy.

We’ve heard this recently from the local talking heads.  Considering much of the average American and average sports fan seems to unfortunately have their opinions decided for them by said talking heads, let’s get this out of the way: The Celtics likely had one shot at Brad Stevens.  It was last July or that was it.  He was too hot of a coaching commodity.  Just be happy he’s in Boston, and not at UCLA, Butler, or wherever.

And no, the Celtics don’t ‘need’ a great draft choice to rebuild.  I discussed this in my column last week.  And if you need an example, why not take a look at how the Indiana Pacers built their team to become the best team in the East in this young season.  Or the Spurs.  Just stop.

“See this is why I don’t like the NBA.  They call too many fouls and the refs are too involved.”

Interesting how you won’t find one using this complaint about the NFL.  You know, even though there are at least three New England Patriots games this season decided by terrible calls.  Oh, and didn’t we all just watch a FOUR HOUR regulation game against Cleveland last weekend due to Jerome Bogar not being able to take his face off the television screen?

And I wouldn’t get started on Major League Baseball, which can’t get a post-season game to end before midnight on the East Coast.

“USA! USA! USA!”

The Garden is always good for the token member of military personnel for the “Heroes Amongst Us” segment during the course of the season.  And the standard standing ovation always takes place.

But it’s always the simple-minded that can’t contain themselves and desperately try starting the ever-so-hollow U-S-A chant the moment they see anyone dressed head-to-toe in camouflage gear.  But one can slightly understand their uncontainable exuberance.  Because if it weren’t for our brave troops, we wouldn’t have all of those freedoms we have.

Like the freedom to needlessly spend money on absolute garbage.

What a country.

What a team.

And what a time for the Celtics to go on a nice win-streak, so my own personal tickets can be thrown up on Ticket Exchange.

Larry H. Russell

Senior editor and featured columnist for CLNS Radio. Celtics writer and historian. E-mail: larryrussell86@gmail.com.

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