Recent Posts By: Calvin Chamberlain

I woke up this morning feeling a wave of hot flashes, with droplets of sweat tumbling off the sides of my forehead and leaving tiny dents in my luxurious memory foam pillow.  I sat up in bed and thought about how the Lakers would soon play their first preseason game, which meant their reign as [...]

So what did you do Monday night?  Did you spend it tweeting?  Retweeting?  Well, whatever you did, it sucked.  That is, unless you were listening to the Celtics Late Night Show featuring NSS HEAD HONDO NICHOLAS GELSO (along with some other guys). While honoring my commitment to America and listening to the CLNS, I heard [...]

This just came in, hot off the Gutenberg press:  Shaq and Kobe hate each other.  I know you’re wondering how I know this, but I never reveal a source.  Without saying specifically which one it was, let’s just say one of the eight year olds who scour my bushes in search of dead animals told [...]

When LeBron James put on his rape shoes and ran right out of Akron early in the offseason, Chicago was considered to be the most appealing destination for him in terms of the amount of existing talent on the team. It was never “he should go play with Derrick Rose”, but rather “he should go [...]

A lot of people ask me…stupid effing questions.  One of them might be, “Did you remember to wrap up?”  Another one is often, “Why does Doc Rivers continue to lean on his ‘starters have never lost a series’ crutch after losing a player who had been ineffective for six games for one game in which [...]

I once had a job with a fast food chain which will remain anonymous for the sake of modesty and brand protection.  One day, after my shift at the end of the evening, I discovered that my register was short enough to result in instant termination.  So I filled it full of Big Mac and Filet [...]

On February 5th, 1994, the Detroit Pistons retired the number 15  jersey of one Vinnie “The Microwave” Johnson.  Where were you when you found out?  Perhaps you were sitting at your computer, reading this article when you read the joyous news.  Perchance you may have asked yourself why the Pistons would retire the number of [...]

Whoever said that the grass is always greener on the other side was clearly not referring to the Atlantic Ocean,  as in England it often manifests itself as a lighter shade…of brown. Unfortunately, David Stern doesn’t seem to be as troubled by brown grass as we might like, as the league recently announced that the Nets [...]

A few days ago Shaquille O’ Neal was on the Jimmy Kimmel late night show.  Kimmel had heard that there was a possibility that Shaq would soon be signing with Boston, which seemed to surprise him.  Jimmy followed up with this question: “Would you feel weird about putting on a Celtics uniform after playing with [...]

Imagine Michael Jordan at a grocery store on July 8th.  Jordan purchases a comb for his wispy mustache along with a three pack of Hanes tidy-whiteys while Charles Oakley peruses a few aisles away, lifting cold medication.  Jordan’s eyes dart upward to the television monitor above a clerk’s head as LeBron announces that he is [...]